Fed Up to my Head in Criticism
Being the youngest member of the entire family has its perks and its flaws. I am a generation or two ahead of most of my cousins so that makes things difficult. Then there's this overbearing reality of who I am. And who exactly am I? Different. I am just plain different than my family. Different ideals, different thinking, different mindset, different goals. Plus it's hard for them to see my point of view, since they are so old and I am so much younger, However, there is one issue that has always been defined just as a blur. This one is not a perk but it's not just a flaw. This is responsibility. The great thing about it is that I have none. The worst thing about it is that I have none.
Having no responsibilities might seem like a gift. Not having to do anything, not having to worry about anything. Just bumming around. Honestly, it sucks monkey butt! Sitting around doing nothing and not worrying about anything is just plain boring. My mind isn't being used and slowly rots itself away providing that when I do use it, it ends up being dumber than it was the previous time it was used. Everyone else is doing something talking about issues that are SO important in their lives. While I'm sitting here the youngest one, with (in their eyes) nothing to worry about.
This is where everyone is always wrong. I HAVE ISSUES! That probably sounds weird, but I do! It may be way more immature than their issues but I still have them. And I'm finding it harder and harder to find someone to talk to about them. I have so many things to worry about, such as the main thought that goes through my head when I wake up in the morning "What the FUCK am I doing with my life?"
Now to everyone else this may seem like a minor set back in my early life as a college student, but it's seriously stressing, especially if you're seriously doubting how you like the major you've chosen. And just because this big deal (to you) seems like a miniscule deal to them they come down on you even harder. It is as if you are your major, and you have to behave a certain way from the moment you've declared it.
You know what it is? It's the stupid age between, I'm not a teen anymore, but I'm not an adult yet. Almost like the god awful Britney Spears song "I'm not a girl, not yet a women." I know I can't be completely reckless, but I'm also not ready to let some of that immaturity go.
Being a not teen/not adult sucks.
Having no responsibilities might seem like a gift. Not having to do anything, not having to worry about anything. Just bumming around. Honestly, it sucks monkey butt! Sitting around doing nothing and not worrying about anything is just plain boring. My mind isn't being used and slowly rots itself away providing that when I do use it, it ends up being dumber than it was the previous time it was used. Everyone else is doing something talking about issues that are SO important in their lives. While I'm sitting here the youngest one, with (in their eyes) nothing to worry about.
This is where everyone is always wrong. I HAVE ISSUES! That probably sounds weird, but I do! It may be way more immature than their issues but I still have them. And I'm finding it harder and harder to find someone to talk to about them. I have so many things to worry about, such as the main thought that goes through my head when I wake up in the morning "What the FUCK am I doing with my life?"
Now to everyone else this may seem like a minor set back in my early life as a college student, but it's seriously stressing, especially if you're seriously doubting how you like the major you've chosen. And just because this big deal (to you) seems like a miniscule deal to them they come down on you even harder. It is as if you are your major, and you have to behave a certain way from the moment you've declared it.
You know what it is? It's the stupid age between, I'm not a teen anymore, but I'm not an adult yet. Almost like the god awful Britney Spears song "I'm not a girl, not yet a women." I know I can't be completely reckless, but I'm also not ready to let some of that immaturity go.
Being a not teen/not adult sucks.
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